Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear Ryker,
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear Tommy,
Happy Birthday to you!
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear MaryElizabeth,
Happy Birthday to you!
I never imagined my children would be celebrating their first birthday in heaven. I had their 1st birthday party planned out a few days after finding out their genders. I knew exactly what I wanted to do and even spent lots of my time on bed rest bookmarking the sites I would buy supplies from. I guess it's time I deleted that folder.....
Instead of celebrating their first actual birthday, I'm recognizing their first Angelversary and missing them so much. I would do anything, ANYTHING, to have them here with me. To hold them, touch them, kiss them, rock them, feel them, smell them.
Everyone tells me time heals all wounds, but I don't agree. Yes, my grief has changed over the past year, but I believe I will always have a hole in my heart. The pain of holding my 3 babies in my arms, dead, will never ease. The memory of walking out of the hospital room the next day, knowing I would never see my children again, will forever be embedded in my memory. But the love I have for them will never ease either. I do love them. Michael and I did create 3 beautiful babies who will always have a place in our hearts.
(I wrote this the day before their birthday but wasn't ready to publish it until now)
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